


sweeter than candy

by helvetica_upstart



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Honeymoon Shenanigans, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, vaguely food-kinky but mostly Negotiating Candy Sharing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-01 08:51:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20812397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helvetica_upstart/pseuds/helvetica_upstart
Summary: Inspired by this tweet: “Husband got excited thinking I was touching myself under the covers but I was actually just opening a Kit Kat I didn't wanna share.”





	sweeter than candy

Patrick’s head is a comfortable weight on David’s chest, and David takes a moment to luxuriate in the sight of his dozing husband— _ husband, _ they’re _ married_— before shifting to free his left arm. He reaches across the mattress to pull the carry-on bag on his nightstand closer, rooting around in the front pocket until he finds the candy bar he’s looking for.

David glances back at Patrick. He says he doesn’t have a sweet tooth, which is such a _ lie_: he has a sixth sense for whenever David has dessert, sidling up all doe-eyed and cute until David can’t help but share. But Patrick doesn’t stir, so David slips the hand with the candy bar under the covers.

“Mm,” Patrick says, rubbing his face into David’s chest. David freezes, but Patrick’s eyes stay closed as he snuggles closer into David’s embrace.

The duvet muffles the sound of David tearing open the wrapper one-handed. For a moment, David thinks he’s getting away with it, until Patrick blinks awake. 

“Baby,” he hums, twisting to mouth at David’s neck. He strokes David’s bicep, then down, following the line of David’s arm to where it disappears under the covers. When Patrick’s hand curls around the candy bar, he makes a surprised noise and pushes down the covers.

“Sorry,” David says. He tries to contain his laughter but the shaking of his chest jolts Patrick to full wakefulness.

Patrick sits up. He stares at the candy bar, then back at David’s face, then back at the candy bar. Cracking up, he says, “I thought you were touching yourself!”

“I could,” David says, leaning over to pepper Patrick’s face with kisses, trying to distract him. “Let’s do that.”

Of course, Patrick’s not that easy to redirect once he’s got his mind set on something. “Can I have a bite?”

“No.” David bites his lip to contain his grin, shaking his head. “No, this is the last candy bar, and you’re the one who picked a honeymoon spot an hour away from the nearest grocery store: this is mine.”

“Honeymoon. We’re _ married_,” Patrick says, voice husky. He goes back to kissing David’s neck. David sighs, pleased at the sensation of his husband’s mouth on his pulse point and that the distraction is working. Until Patrick pulls back and murmurs, “Not even a bite, love?”

David does remember there being some talk about sharing and compromise and partnership in the vows. “Ugh. One bite.”

David holds out the candy bar, but Patrick doesn’t take it from him. He leans in, scraping his teeth over a melted bit of chocolate on David’s ring finger before sucking that finger into his mouth. David’s stunned by the sight of Patrick’s lips against the gold of David’s wedding ring. David exhales shakily and Patrick pulls off with a pop.

Patrick opens his mouth, and David pushes the candy bar past his lips. Not breaking eye contact with David, Patrick takes more of it into his mouth with an enthusiasm that makes David’s stomach swoop.

Then he pulls back and all that’s left is half a candy bar and a crescent bite mark.

“Oh my God,” David says, wheezing with laughter. “I can’t believe you.”

Patrick’s voice is garbled through his mouthful of chocolate. “Sorry, baby, it was the last one and the nearest grocery store is an hour away.”

“You’re the worst,” David says, but as soon as Patrick swallows, he drags him in for a kiss. They’re both smiling too hard for it to be a good kiss, but David’s heart swells anyway. 

“Wow, what can I do to make it up to you?” Patrick asks, pulling away to start kissing a determined path down David’s chest. 

“Oh—” David gasps as Patrick nips at his hipbone. “Yeah, that’s a start.”

“Just a start?”

“Mm, well, I have some ideas for what you can do after...”

“What?” Patrick asks, eyes dark. “Anything you want.”

“...the grocery shopping.”

**Author's Note:**

> brought to you by a candy shortage at my college this midterm season. it's real dire. 
> 
> but an end is in sight and I'm excited to post some longer works as soon as the midterm:candy ratio in my life improves!!
> 
> <3 <3 <3


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